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carolyn

Bullying Experiences

What experiences have you had with bullying?
Lots. I’ve sort of kind of bullied others (okay, I bullied them). I was really catty in elementary school and was super mean to this girl *Mary*, whose sister had epilepsy. I called Mary’s sister a retard, and Mary started crying. I felt like such a terrible person that I immediately apologized and wrote her an I’m sorry note. I’ve never really been so mean to someone on purpose again. I do bother people quite a bit, poking them and petting their hair and giving them irritating nicknames, but I’ve tried to stop that this year if people tell me they don’t like it.
In middle school, I myself am bullied a lot. It has been getting better this year though, but the year is still young. In sixth grade two girls who I thought were my friends started spreading it around school (one ‘accidentally’ shouted it on her crowded bus on the way home from school) that I was bisexual or a lesbian. I was of course hurt and confused. (09/12/07)  I mean, it wasn’t because they were calling me bi or lez, it was because they thought it was a bad thing. I’m really into gay rights and stuff. I mean, a person is a person, no matter what else defines them. You shouldn’t use a sexual orientation as an insult, just as you shouldn’t use a religion or a race.
(09/07/07)  A guy in my first hour class (in sixth grade) who I didn’t like (and who didn’t like me either) also, I think, started spreading that. Girls were afraid to dress in the same row of lockers as me in P.E., because they thought I was ‘looking at them’. A lot of people made fun of me, and even kids in older grades would stop and ask me if the rumors were true. People whose names I didn’t even know would say things like “Ew, that girl’s a fag. Stay away from her!” I cried a few times, when it got to be too much. Thank God I had my REAL friends, who stood up for me and told people off for making fun of me.

How do you feel about bullying?
I hate it. I can’t stand it when I see people getting picked on, and I really try to not pick on others. It just seems so cruel to me to hurt someone’s feelings like that.
(09/10/07) Whenever I know that I’ve been a bully, I feel like an awful person and I beat myself up about it.

What have you learned about bullying from this project?
So far, that everyone has a different definition.
(09/10/07) Also, that different cliques have different ways of bullying within the clique and outside the clique. Basically, that it differs with the people involved.

Film Project Experience

What do you think of this project? 
(09/05/07)  I think that it is really rather amazing. I’m pretty excited about it.

How has the project been so far?
It’s been interesting. I think that Mr. Faull (Chris) has a really good approach to the whole business of bullying. Its really been fun so far.

What are your hopes and expectations for the coming weeks?
I *hope* that I will get an acting part, because I am such a drama queen and I love the spotlight. On the other hand, I DO NOT want that big of a part, because of all the attention I got from just thirty seconds of face time on the ABC News thing.
I expect that this whole thing will start out difficult and get more fun and more interesting as it goes along. I’m really excited to see what the plots are.
(09/10/07)  OMG! I got picked to be an actress, I think it was on the 6th or 7th.  I am WAAAYYYY excited.
We got the plots today, and it looks good. It is funny to me that I’ve seen stuff that we girls suggested to Chris in the boys part of the plot. Laura is an actress too, and she’s my best friend, so I’m really happy about that.
(09/12/07)  Oh Jeez, I’m the ‘victim’. My sister Anna has been patting my cheeks and ruffling my hair and (oh horror!) kissing me, cooing revolting endearments about how I’m her little star and how I’m so lovely and I’m going to be famous. I hope she stops doing that, because it’s kind of scary.
(09/14/07)  We got a more final version of the plots, and they’re so good so far. I really like them. I’m a bit nervous about what I’m going to do for my wardrobe, but I’m sure I’ll work it out.

Poems/ Lyrics about bullying

(09/12/07 – 09/14/07)

A Miserable Thing
It gets pretty lonely
Over here
            By myself
All my friends
Just too afraid
To sit with me.

It makes me wonder
Why?
Why are they so mean?
What have I ever done
To make them
Make my life
Such a miserable thing?

I mean,
I know that I’ve done this
That I’ve isolated people
But I never realized
That it hurt so bad.
I’m so so sorry
All you kids.
I am.

What Ignorance is This?

What
The
Hell.
What did you just say?
Do mine ears deceive me?
Did you REALLY
Just stoop so low
As to use that word?
Did you just call me a fag?
Oh, no.
Oh, nononononono.
You should know by now
You should know about me
About my utter
Loathing
Of that hideous, nasty word
That should never
 Be usedon a
HUMAN BEING.
Where is your dignity?
How have you lived your life?
What ignorance is this?

What ignorance
Is this?
This saddening thing
Hate words fill my mind
And fill me
With anger
But most of all,
Of sorrow.
That our race and our country
Supposedly so dignified
And free
And equal
Could produce such children
As to use
Such words

 

 
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